The Ouroboros, the ancient symbol of the snake biting its own tail, provides a profound metaphor for the inner dynamics of human psychology, particularly as it relates to the Negative Free Child (NFC) and Negative Adaptive Child (NAC). By linking the Ouroboros to the journey through Call, Trial, Return, Bardo (CTRB)—as described in Jungian terms—we can understand how these parts of us grapple with their relationship to infinity, form, and the cycles of existence.
The Bite: Pain of the Negative Free Child (NFC)
The bite of the Ouroboros represents the pain felt by the Negative Free Child (NFC) when it transitions from infinity (formlessness) into finite form. This “bite” occurs during the Call phase of CTRB, where the individual subconsciously becomes aware of their separation from the infinite and feels the constraints of a finite existence.
This experience creates a deep “claustrophobia”, a desperate reaction to the confinement of form. The NFC’s instinct is to:
- Conquer: To dominate limits and prove they are not bound.
- Rebel: To resist authority, structure, and form altogether.
- Escape: To flee into fantasies, addictions, or avoidance behaviors.
The NFC’s struggle is not merely a response to the immediate environment but a reaction to the existential pain of being finite. It assumes that it understands infinity and interprets its separation from it as unbearable. This assumption—though untrue—fuels the NFC’s restless energy and rejection of limits.
The Return: Pain of the Negative Adaptive Child (NAC)
The Return phase in CTRB brings the NAC into focus. Here, the NAC sees the head of the snake, symbolizing the seemingly never-ending cycle of CTRB. The NAC interprets this cycle as an “infinite loop” of challenges, transitions, and uncertainties.
This brings about “agoraphobia”: a fear of boundlessness, openness, and the unknown. To the NAC, the idea of infinity is overwhelming, and it craves:
- Limits: Clear rules, boundaries, or constraints to feel secure.
- Certainty: Predictable systems that alleviate the fear of chaos.
- Avoidance of Rejection or Punishment: At a conscious level, this fear manifests as anxiety about failure, homelessness, prisons both literal and figurative, and eternal damnation by rejection (by other people or the Divine).
Like the NFC, the NAC also assumes it understands infinity, interpreting it as a never-ending, uncontrollable sequence of moments that never end (like the snake biting its tail). This assumption drives it to seek rigid structures or over-accommodate rules to gain a sense of control.
The Root Issue: Misunderstanding Infinity
Both the NFC and NAC base their reactions on the flawed assumption that they understand infinity:
- The NFC believes infinity is one frozen moment that never changes
- The NAC sees endless and cyclical moments that always change.
These assumptions are partial truths at best, but the conviction they have the total truth – and thus fear infinity and death – polarize the parts, leading to inner conflict and the Prioritization of Personal Happiness (PPH) as a coping mechanism. Yet, the root of our suffering lies not in infinity itself but in the parts believing the Eternal can be understood (and thus must be feared).
Healing Through THANK (To Humbly Appreciate Not Knowing)
The antidote to these polarizations is THANK: To Humble Appreciate Not Knowing. This practice of humility and acknowledgment is bringing what’s unconscious (in the shadow) into the light. We do not know infinity. We can’t. So, by embracing this truth, we can soothe the fears of both the NFC and NAC and they feel understood.
THANK invites us to accept the mystery of existence and make peace with the unknown and unknowable. It shifts the focus from struggling against infinity to being present with our finite experiences.
Becoming the Ideal Parental Archetype (IPA)
To integrate the NFC and NAC, we must embody the Ideal Parental Archetype (IPA)—a compassionate, wise, and nurturing presence within ourselves. The IPA offers:
- Understanding and Acceptance: Recognizing the fears of both child parts without judgment.
- Guidance and Balance: Encouraging them to see some good, beauty, and truth in their counterpart so we start embracing both freedom and structure.
- Compassion for Misunderstanding: Helping them see that their fears arise from a natural, albeit mistaken, attempt to grasp infinity.
By acknowledging their pain and guiding them with love and humility, we create space for individuation—what Jung described as the integration of all parts of the self into a harmonious whole.
Conclusion: The Ouroboros as a Symbol of Integration
The Ouroboros illustrates the cycles of Call, Trial, Return, and Bardo, which reflect the psychological struggles of the NFC and NAC. The bite signifies the pain of separation, while the head represents the daunting realization of the infinite cycle. Both parts act out of fear rooted in the assumption of understanding infinity.
Through the practice of THANK and the embodiment of the IPA, we can bridge the gap between these polarized parts, helping them to integrate and find peace. While we still address the finite challenges they present (anxiety, depression, rejection, etc.), we do so within the context of a deeper acknowledgment of mystery. In this way, the Ouroboros transforms from a symbol of struggle to one of wholeness and unity.
While this card may not apply to you, for myself, the card that reminds me to THANK and gently suggest to the NAC and NFC they admit their fears is: 7 of cups:
The Seven of Cups often symbolizes choices, illusions, and the pull of fantasies or incomplete truths. When the parts engage in fantasy and make assumptions about the eternal, infinite, Divine, we suffer.
Interpretation of the Seven of Cups in This Context:
1. Illusions and Partial Truths:
• Each cup in the card may represent a way the NAC and NFC react to their fear of the Infinite by making assumptions about time—frozen moments (stillness the NFC fears is “claustrophobia”) or endless sequences (no limits the NAC fears is “agoraphobia”). They’re missing the larger, unified reality.
2. Humility and Mystery:
• The Seven of Cups reminds you that no single cup (or perspective) holds the entirety of truth. The infinite cannot be reduced to one interpretation or experience. Humility comes from recognizing that all perspectives, while meaningful, are inherently incomplete.
3. Being Overwhelmed by Choices:
• The card also reflects the mental overwhelm of trying to “figure out” the eternal or divine. Parts feel pressure to “choose” a narrative—whether it’s frozen time or endless cycles. The card advises releasing the need to resolve this tension through assumptions and instead resting in the mystery.
4. Integration Through Humility:
• The Seven of Cups can act as a reminder to view both perspectives (stillness and motion) as aspects of a larger, unknowable truth. The humility lies in stepping back and saying to NAC and NFC, “You don’t know what the infinite truly is, and that’s okay.”
If your parts find humility and stop trying to know (like Eve’s Apple), they may find peace. At the very least, each may see their counterpart in a similar “sin” of claiming to know — and promote fears about –the Eternal:
Conclusion:
The Seven of Cups reminds you to embrace the humility of “THANK” (To Humbly Appreciate Not Knowing). Your parts’ assumptions about time are like the cups—representations of limited perspectives that point toward a deeper, ineffable truth. Rather than being trapped in the illusion of needing certainty, allow the card to guide you toward surrendering to the mystery, appreciating that the divine and infinite are beyond comprehension. This surrender is the essence of humility.